Timeline 

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We exist 

But In an influx of timelines 

And our lives are made up 

Of a bunch of circumstances 

That’s timed right 

Because if not it might 

Cause you to live 

In a totally different reality 

I mean one thing 

One thought

One action 

Could lead to a life simply 

Over-lapping 

THe life you would’ve had 

If you had just made the written choice 

I wonder how many times 

How many times we’ve torn up the invoice 

The invoice that tells us the contents of our lives 

How many times men have re-written their wives

How many times women changed the guy 

The guys they would meet 

Because they chose to kiss or sleep 

To stay or flee 

Small choices majorly with impacts 

That we will never return from 

For how will we know that we changed a moment 

If every time we breathe 

A new timeline is born from 

The inevitable chance to erase the re-run 

Of re-writing the timeline we’ve forsaken 

Crazy ain’t it? 

Genuine 

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I watched you change

There were so many late nights 

Where trips to Georgia would feel like moments 

For we’d burn hours with conversation 

You told me of your quest for happiness 

In spite of pain 

And of frustration 

And I Knew then you were a warrior 

You saw the way your family fell apart 

And the thought that 

It could trickle down to your Littles some day 

Did colossal damage to your heart 

The problem 

The problem is that you had no idea where to start 

So like anyone else with too much on their plate 

You did nothing. 

And you sucked in all the awful things that life presented you 

And you mixed them with your Hennessy 

You laced your marijuana with your pain 

And you didn’t have to say it 

For I knew you didn’t care anymore 

I knew you had given up 

I knew the pain had won

And it’s almost as if 

You reaching out for me 

To explain to you how to fix it 

Was more of a test 

For when I answered your beckon 

It must have been too late 

Or maybe you changed your mind

Or maybe in the chaos you found happiness 

Maybe it’s where you felt you belonged 

Because all the talks we had about not succumbing to our circumstances 

Was just talk 

Hot air 

A facade to get me off your back 

As you indulged in the very lifestyle that Robbed you of a proper home 

So like the running tally of friends that I had 

I guess I’ll never know 

If your faith was indeed genuine 

Chained 

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Sobbing

All I can see is her sobbing

I close my eyes and she’s sobbing

Riddled with the spiraling vortex that is her past

She wants so bad to let it go

But she’s chained to the persuasion that says she should be buried in her hurt 

She doesn’t know love

She never felt love

There’s a hole in her torso where her heart should be

And though I am an outsider to an intrinsic problem 

And objector to an existential problem

I wanted so badly to vicariously stop them 

But I peered into her hurting eyes and in the process 

I realized I couldn’t do it

I realized that I couldn’t take the pain away

I realized that the only one that could administer the change was Jesus

Oh how badly I wanted to bring her to the pond

Oh how badly I wanted Her to drink the water

But sometimes a stubborn horse would rather die of thirst than obey

And sometimes we as people would rather abide in pain

That may be because sometimes we’ve been deprived of praise

And we treat life like another blank page that no one would dare to write on

I wanted to tell her to ride on

To be strong

To hang in there because it will get better

But will it?

How much more of this can she take

Before she breaks

And her world falls apart like a category 10 earthquake

I see a painful future

I can feel the pain through her

As the malevolent rhetoric called her past 

Does everything it can to woo her 

It’s her tears that soothe her 

But what a sewer they trickle down to

Where do you find hope in hopelessness

Where do you find closure in  brokenness

I am just hoping that 

I can be the light she needs

Rest Easy Homie 

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Do you ever wonder

Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if you had stayed? 

I remember a time when the only thing that separated us was baseball and a couple of grades

Shoot, we were a week away from celebrating the same birthday 

But oh how there is an oasis between us

A great span of philosophy and circumstances

School loans and work advances

And if I’m being 100 I have no idea how we managed to stay friends this long

I’m not sure if it’s longevity or because there’s a purpose

I just remember having this fear that to you I would be worthless

Because Jesus was no longer the glue that held our friendship together

And the day you told me that you are agnostic at best

Atheist at worst

I remember when my dad was battling that rape charge 

but you leaving the faith took the cake on what hurts

It felt as if I Lost my brother

The greatest accountability partner that I ever had 

One text message made you become a stranger

There was hurt coupled with anger

And I feared that we walked a tight rope that 

would cause us to  fall to the death of our friendship

To be honest, I was waiting for you to end it

You have found people who were also decreasing in spiritual stamina

And I feared that God would have to take drastic measures to get his hands on you

Don’t get this Poem wrong 

I couldn’t be more proud of you

Alongside me as we battled the status quo to become great

To supersede the statistics that said we would die before graduation 

It’s really quite an achievement

So nigga we made it

Not just for our societal standing 

But for our friendship 

And though I hurt from time to time at the thought of you

You can be rest assured

That I’ll forever be in your corner 

For after all

What are brothers for? 

Luke Cage

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I remember the first time I watched Luke cage

I remember a bullet hitting his skin and combusting into dust as it ricocheted into oblivion

I had a strange peace 

My best friend and I would then come to talk about the series for weeks

For nothing with more encouraging than a bulletproof black man

Not when the past 60 plus years have been riddled with lead infested bodies

We’re talking modern America 

Not when the men in uniforms sworn to protect us 

shoot holes our bodies for hobbies

Not when our brigade that stood for justice at the Supreme Court 

was silenced at the lobby

And we, as a people, stood at a resounding silence

I watched hurting people burning down cities in violence

Unbeknownst to a white culture who willfully ignored our crying

So cities were forced to walk the plank like they were captured by pirates

Because black men in real life Aren’t bulletproof

But a police driven culture with their backhands ready still stands over you

No wonder we are afraid of flashing lights

For the only way a black man can soar to new heights

Is by being LeBron James or being on the news at nine

And the pride I felt watching Luke cage became envy

It became pain 

I became empty

For I knew that one wrong move would end my life

I’ve already beat the odds by turning 25

So am I surviving or biding my time 

Before Bill down at the local PD decides to unholster his nine

And smoke will emerge from my body like dog feces in the New York winter time

I wish I was bulletproof

I wish I was bulletproof 

I wish I did more than just survive

Cracked Mirrors

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I distinctly remember a time when I wasn’t good enough

The color of my skin was too much of a blemish to overlook

And parents of white women would look at my God 

as if it was a sin to overcook

The divine fabric called my skin…

I was plagued by insecurities

I was my own worst enemy as I thought the worst of me

Like why would a loving God put a curse on me

To where those I put my love in, put zero worth in me

And why would the skin I was given Bring hurt to me

Like why couldn’t God perform surgery and remove the earth from me and start over?

I would see cracked mirrors through whole eyes

I mean whole mirrors through cracked eyes

Whole efforts through cracked tries

Beautiful pigment through cracked minds

Left a voiceless mouth to pantomime

The shell of an empty life

One only riddled with hurt 

Chasing white skin in a skirt

Because I looked at my black skin with a lack of worth 

Perplexed by an unavoidable circumstance

Flying through my life with gargantuan amounts of turbulence

For so long I was hurting, man…

But I distinctly remember a time when I saw I was good enough

My skin was not a curse it was a blessing

My skin was not a defense mechanism it was a weapon

My skin did not bring me fragments of hell

 it was heaven

And I had to flip a big bird to those white parents

With their inherent inconceivable view of marriage

When I carried my pigment with more pride than I could manage

I charged the world with the pumped up chest,  invoking panic

And there wasn’t a flipping Parent on the planet

That could tell me I wasn’t good enough

I didn’t talk white, I was educated

Not once, but three times I graduated

And I look back in retrospect And think

It’s funny ain’t it? 

It was them who wasn’t good enough for me.

The Conclusion of the Matter

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It’s been so long since i’ve written a poem

but as I found in previous pages

my will to write a riddling prose has fainted

for i’ve become far too aquainted with happiness

for you, my love

you are my utopia

you’ve brought me from darkness

to a warrior,

wielding a sword of light

you’ve become my drive

my will to fight

my everything

and in ages to come

angels will sing

of the engagement to change a path

because oh, my love

to see through the looking glass

i’m looking past

all my faults and failures

wailing ailments

i’m not too fond of extra-curricular reading

but i’m flying through these pages

pages of a book we’ve written

to say i’m smitten, is an understatement

it’s like i’m back to basics

cooing and drooling in your presence

I don’t care if my actions are self-condescending

or self-condemning

i’ll dig through my own wreckage

because at the root of every mess

there’s foreshadowing of blessings

and yes i’ve been hurt

yes i’ve seen dark places

yes, there were times where deep slumber

beguiled me into thinking I would never awaken

but you’ve come along

and there’s no doubt in my mind at all

that you my love

is what it’s all been for

and the conclusion of the matter, my love

was that you are the source

and that, my love

was worth it